Cake, Coffee and Coaching

Time for a rant

A while back when our children were small a friend and I used to take our families off on holiday together. Every time when I arrived to pick my friend's family up she would emerge from the house looking totally exhausted- as though she needed a week's sleep before setting off. I didn't need to ask why. Every year in the days before her holiday her boss would find a long list of tasks which were suddenly emergencies. She was told that if they weren't all completed before she took time off the firm would lose funding/ lose clients/ employees would lose jobs/ her position would be at stake. So of course she worked late and early and set off on holiday in a state of total exhaustion.

Now I here the same sort of thing from my coaching clients. They tell me about companies reorganising so that 2 people have to do the work which used to be carried out by 5. They talk about going on line to find literally hundreds of emails which have come in over night. They feel obliged to spend time on box ticking, useless forms and procedures.

Worst of all my clients tell me that they are scared to admit how overwhelmed they are feeling because they will be seen as failing and inadequate and will risk losing their jobs,

The technology is different but the situations remind me of what I've read about 19th Century mill owners- people who were in such a powerful position that they could bully their workers in any way that they chose.

Surely in the 21st Century we should be beyond this kind of unproductive, bullying behavior which leaves people feeling panicky and unable to work strategically.  Working like this they can only fire fight the latest crisis instead of moving the company forward.

The time my clients take out for coaching sessions gives them breathing space to prioritise , plan future projects and to celebrate what they are achieving. Through coaching they develop ways to put firm boundaries around their areas of responsibility and the hours they work. And No, they don't lose their jobs, The funny thing is that anyone who does this gets far more respect from their colleagues and managers.

Do we need a nanny state?

 

The case of the two job sharing police women not allowed by offsted to mind each other’s children really makes my blood boil. They had an arrangement which allowed both to do work which benefits society. They had known each other for years. Their children were similar ages and had been used to this arrangement since birth. A perfect scenario until the state intervened.

On Sunday morning a TV debate discussing this situation featured a PARENT COACH who seemed to me to be accepting the need for state intervention in children’s lives. Surely coaching is about increasing people’s self reliance and self esteem? Instead we are being told that teachers, parents, scout leaders etc are all potential abusers and can’t be trusted to give a child who has fallen over a hug or even administer sun tan lotion or sticking plasters with out written permission.

Children are being brought up to suspect adults, they are being raised in an atmosphere of paranoid fear which is in itself a form of abuse. It is not as though state intervention has managed to stop appalling cases of abuse in the recent past.

A better way would be for everyone to be encouraged to feel good about themselves and others; to feel confident about their own abilities to parent well and to expect that others will behave well. In this kind of world those with genuinely evil intentions would show up more easily.

Instead of colluding with the currently fashionable climate of fear and distrust as coaches we have a responsibility to acknowledge and honour people’s good intentions and desire to be and do their best for themselves and their children.

 

 

 

 

 

I dare you

Welcome to my blog.  I've finally decided to write a blog, I'm told that airing my views, writing about my rants and openly revelling in my passions (coaching, theatre, books and being a grandmother) will not only feel entirely and deliciously indulgent but will also act as a bridge between those who 'would love to' and those who 'couldn't dare'.  For those who 'couldn't dare'...go on...I dare you. 

Follow me as I aim to inspire, to rationalise, to rant and to put the world to rights, then you might decide 'you'd love to'!